I began this blog when I was 23 years old and my husband, Jesse was only 21. That was in December of 2007 when we decided that we wanted to bring a baby into our family. We had no idea all that decision entailed. Back then I had a false assumption that I was super-fertile and would get pregnant even while on birth control. Well, I was off of birth control for over a year, went through all of the fertility testing, and then was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility".

This past year has been one of the most difficult I have ever been through. I ran the emotional gauntlet on this issue, ranging from intense sadness and heartache to anger towards God to total peace about what He is doing. God began to show me how He was using my infertility as a ministry. It is my hope to share my testimony with others so that they may either be encouraged as they face their own infertility or educated as they learn what infertility entails. More than that, though, I hope that the things I share point others to God regardless of what they are going through.

When I first began this blog, the entries were kept private. But I have decided to open everything up in order to let people see the raw truth of the struggle. I strive to find the fine line between sharing the truth and sharing too much information. However, it is my desire to share my heart, regardless. And I have learned that there is never "too much information" in the world of infertility.

After being diagnosed with unexplained infertility on November 17, 2008, I was put on a round of 50mg of Clomid to strengthen the quality and quantity of my eggs. I suppose it was how God chose to work because I became pregnant that very cycle.

In order to be sensitive to those who are still going through infertility, I have opened up a new blog about my pregnancy. I am maintaining this one, though, hoping that it serves as a testimony to anyone who may be going through infertility at the time they come across my site. If you want to follow my life's journey, check out my other blogs. And if you would like, please don't hesitate to email me:

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Not This Month...

This morning my temperature dropped. For those who are not so in-tune with the functionings of their reproductive systems, and therefore are not sure why I even mention my temperature while trying to conceive, it signifies this:

I'm not pregnant and I'm due to start my next cycle today or tomorrow. It all has to do with your progesterone levels and reproductive mumbo-jumbo...

But, while the news is not thrilling in the least bit, I'm glad to have those subtle cues to let me down rather than wondering and wondering if I'm going to be late only to be left with sinking disappointment when my period surprises me.

And, discovering this cue today has not discouraged me in my anticipation of God's movement. Continuing my much more free-flowing, God-written script, I will simply wait for my period to actually come and then schedule my next blood test for 2 days after that. This means, we can anticipate my test being most likely Friday or Saturday. I'm just ready to get to the next part of the process, which is most likely Clomid. I never thought before that I would ever have to take this drug, and knowing some of the common side effects makes me a little less eager to take it. However, for many people, it was just the boost they needed. I just have to keep on believing that God brought us to this place that we are now, and will lead us to the right doctors and medications. This verse was brought to my attention multiple times yesterday and I think it's fitting for today:

Just as you cannot understand how breath comes to a tiny baby in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things. (Ecclesiastes 11:5)


Melody said...

Thanks for your prayers for us. I stopped taking Clomid around a year ago because I couldn't handle the side effects and because it overstimulated my ovaries. I'll be praying for you all two as you begin this journey. Believe me it takes lots of patience for both husband and wife.

Blessings to you,

Anonymous said...

Sorry sweetie:
I love you and hurt with you! That verse is great. God is up to something. The anticipation of what it will be is exciting. It's gotta be good, because He is good.
Love you soooooooooo much,

kcmarie122 said...

So sorry this wasn't your month! But your attitude is great! It's ok to be sad just don't lose your hope!