I began this blog when I was 23 years old and my husband, Jesse was only 21. That was in December of 2007 when we decided that we wanted to bring a baby into our family. We had no idea all that decision entailed. Back then I had a false assumption that I was super-fertile and would get pregnant even while on birth control. Well, I was off of birth control for over a year, went through all of the fertility testing, and then was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility".

This past year has been one of the most difficult I have ever been through. I ran the emotional gauntlet on this issue, ranging from intense sadness and heartache to anger towards God to total peace about what He is doing. God began to show me how He was using my infertility as a ministry. It is my hope to share my testimony with others so that they may either be encouraged as they face their own infertility or educated as they learn what infertility entails. More than that, though, I hope that the things I share point others to God regardless of what they are going through.

When I first began this blog, the entries were kept private. But I have decided to open everything up in order to let people see the raw truth of the struggle. I strive to find the fine line between sharing the truth and sharing too much information. However, it is my desire to share my heart, regardless. And I have learned that there is never "too much information" in the world of infertility.

After being diagnosed with unexplained infertility on November 17, 2008, I was put on a round of 50mg of Clomid to strengthen the quality and quantity of my eggs. I suppose it was how God chose to work because I became pregnant that very cycle.

In order to be sensitive to those who are still going through infertility, I have opened up a new blog about my pregnancy. I am maintaining this one, though, hoping that it serves as a testimony to anyone who may be going through infertility at the time they come across my site. If you want to follow my life's journey, check out my other blogs. And if you would like, please don't hesitate to email me:
mrs_peterson07@yahoo.com

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Change of Pace

If you would've asked me 6 months ago if I would've closed my blog and started a new one once I got pregnant, I would've told you no. I'd seen it done time and again by people post-infertility. But I figured that even though I may be pregnant at that point, that the things one experiences in pregnancy after infertility is different than one may experience had they never gone through it. I have heard many describe their "survivor's guilt", wondering why God had chosen to bless them when so many others are still going through infertility. I now understand it. I have heard many describe their intense fears of losing their precious baby, even worrying down to the due date because they know that you can't take it for granted. I now understand it. I have heard many describe the distance they felt between themselves and their former infertile friends since they have now become "one of them". I now understand it. So, after they experience success after infertility, they find that the only way to be sensitive to those who are still facing infertility while sharing what they are currently going through is to begin a new blog. I now understand it. I don't feel any animosity towards those who have pulled away from me during this time. I understand it completely, and I hate that something that causes me so much joy would cause you so much pain. I just don't want to cause more pain if it's something that I can help. Furthermore, this isn't goodbye. I will still write on here as things come to mind that are infertility-related. And beyond that, I will continue reading EVERY SINGLE ONE of your blogs every day. And I will comment as much as possible so that you know I am still praying right alongside you. I have editted my previous blogs, taking out anything that is pregnancy related and have moved those entries to my new blog. I have left the pieces of the entries that had to do with infertility still. I wanted to maintain the integrity of the site for those who may come across it in the future and also for the times that I may happen to add something infertility-related to it.

If you WANT to follow me through my pregnancy, please come over to my new blog at www.baby-blessings.blogspot.com. And, I'd love to know that you followed me over there. If that's too much for you, though, and you still want to keep in touch, I still have my family blog where I will continue to write about the things Jesse and I go through: www.thepetersons07.blogspot.com. And if you want to keep up-to-date on my personal thoughts of random things that happen in my day, I will be writing at http://my-bombastic-blog.blogspot.com/. All of these links will be on my sidebar soon. And, since I am just beginning the process of moving everything around, give me a bit of time to get things organized and settled. It is my prayer that the things I write will continue to be a blessing to those who read them regardless of the topics they cover.

3 comments:

Mrs. Hammer said...

I want you to know that even though I'm still going through IF you have my continued prayers and support. I'll be following your baby blog and praying for a blessed pregnancy.

NeNe said...

It only makes sense that you would have an infertility blog while experiencing IF you'd have a baby blog after getting pregnant. Have fun on the other side and God Bless!

Tanner's said...

I am so touched by your heart, as I sit here to write you I am struggling to find the words...I am one of those people who is so thankful God answered your prayers and am finding so much joy for you, but in the midst of a loss I find myself in tears as I stare at your positive preg. test.

I will follow you every step of the way, praying for you because I know how to pray for you! I appreciate that you have started new blogs, because some days I am not strong enough while others I am! I am so happy for you, and thankful for your blog and friendship!