I began this blog when I was 23 years old and my husband, Jesse was only 21. That was in December of 2007 when we decided that we wanted to bring a baby into our family. We had no idea all that decision entailed. Back then I had a false assumption that I was super-fertile and would get pregnant even while on birth control. Well, I was off of birth control for over a year, went through all of the fertility testing, and then was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility".

This past year has been one of the most difficult I have ever been through. I ran the emotional gauntlet on this issue, ranging from intense sadness and heartache to anger towards God to total peace about what He is doing. God began to show me how He was using my infertility as a ministry. It is my hope to share my testimony with others so that they may either be encouraged as they face their own infertility or educated as they learn what infertility entails. More than that, though, I hope that the things I share point others to God regardless of what they are going through.

When I first began this blog, the entries were kept private. But I have decided to open everything up in order to let people see the raw truth of the struggle. I strive to find the fine line between sharing the truth and sharing too much information. However, it is my desire to share my heart, regardless. And I have learned that there is never "too much information" in the world of infertility.

After being diagnosed with unexplained infertility on November 17, 2008, I was put on a round of 50mg of Clomid to strengthen the quality and quantity of my eggs. I suppose it was how God chose to work because I became pregnant that very cycle.

In order to be sensitive to those who are still going through infertility, I have opened up a new blog about my pregnancy. I am maintaining this one, though, hoping that it serves as a testimony to anyone who may be going through infertility at the time they come across my site. If you want to follow my life's journey, check out my other blogs. And if you would like, please don't hesitate to email me:

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Baby Names

I previously mentioned that I've been coming up with baby names since I was really little. In fact, I used to keep a notebook that had my whole list of names in it when I was just in middle school. When Jesse and I were engaged, we were discussing our plans for our future family. Jesse asked me to list about 5 names that I would like for our kids. After I listed my names, I asked him what his ideas were. In each of our lists, there was 1 name that we completely agreed on. Since that conversation, both of us have been in complete agreement that our first son will have that name. And since I have witnessed many couples who disagree over baby names down to the birth of their child, I feel very thankful to have a husband who likes all of the names I have come up with. Last Friday, I came up with my perfect list of names, and when I talked to Jesse about it, he liked it a lot. (We had already talked about all of the names in depth before. I just came up with an idea that tied it all together.) So, I thought it'd be fun to share the names we have come up with and the meanings behind them. Beware, though, if any of you out there steal my names, I will hunt you down...

Our first son will be named Josiah David.

Josiah has a lot of meanings depending on where you look. But the "iah" ending denotes that it is a Hebrew name and means that the person who named the child is a worshiper of Jehovah. Usually the name means something like "Jehovah has heard" or "Jehovah has given." Josiah means "God will save", "Jehovah has healed", "One who is built upon Jehovah", and "the fire of the Lord." Josiah was the youngest king ever in the history of Israel. He became king when he was only 8 years old. Despite having an unGodly father, he served God as a righteous king. This is the one name that Jesse and I both had on our initial list. The middle name "David" is after my one and only brother (who is best friends with Jesse and really close to me) and my dad (Michael and Kaela already named their son after Michael & Jesse's dad). David also means "Cherished" or "Beloved" in Hebrew.

Our 2nd son will be named Judah Michael.

Judah is Hebrew as well, meaning "Praise the Lord" or "the praise of the Lord". Judah wasn't the mostly Godly man in the Bible, but it was from his tribe (his lineage) that Jesus was born. And Revelation refers to Jesus as "The Lion of the Tribe of Judah". The middle name "Michael" is Hebrew and means "Who is like God?" (a rhetorical question saying that no one compares to Him). This name would be after Jesse's one and only brother.

Our 1st daughter would be named McKaya Raelynn.

McKaya can actually be a boy's or girl's name, depending on how you spell it. And I originally wanted it as a boy's name. I suppose it still could be if we end up having more boys. But I like it spelled this way with this and with this middle name. So, Micaiah (spelled like this) was the name of both a man and woman in the Bible. The woman was the mother of one of the kings in the Bible. And the man was the only Godly prophet to tell King Ahab and King Jehoshaphat the truth of God unlike the other prophets who lied, telling the kings what they wanted to hear. McKaya (spelled any way) means "Who is like God?" (just like Michael because they are derivitive of the same name). The middle name Raelynn comes from both mine and Jesse's moms. My mom's middle name is Rae and Jesse's mom's middle name was Lynn. Together, this name means "Beautiful lamb".

Finally, our 2nd daughter would be named Jordyn Grace.

Jordyn is Hebrew meaning "to flow down." The name itself is one that I have loved since I was about 15 years old, when I heard of a girl on a TV show that had that name. I tend to like boy's names for girls and names that aren't quite as common. I fought wholeheartedly for this name. When my cousin was pregnant, she wanted to name her daughter Jordyn, but was torn between that and another name. I won, and she chose the other name instead. The middle name "Grace" means just that- favor or blessing. It's Latin (go figure!). I think it's a beautiful name in itself, but it also means a lot to me because of the lessons God has taught me about His grace in my suffering through infertility.

There's a few other names that I like as well, which we could play around with if God surprised us with more kids than we expect to have. But Jesse and I hope for 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) and this would cover all of those names. In addition, I wanted all of the names to begin with J's and M's to go with Jesse and Mandy, which all of these names do. And Josiah and McKaya go together as do Jordyn and Judah. Finally, the middle names cover all of the bases for our siblings and parents to be named after.

So, I hope you like them, but even if you don't, we'll still probably name our kids that anyways!!! And remember my warning about stealing my names. I'm serious! :-)

Judah means

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