Comfort During the Season

I've been struggling with what to write on here more than just my beta results. I've seen this happen a lot with people who get pregnant after infertility. I never thought I would be one of them. What I didn't realize, though, is that my inability to write is not because I don't have anything to say, but because I am trying to be as sensative as possible to those who are still struggling this holiday season. I know many people are hurting this week and my heart goes out to them. I was thinking today especially of those I know who have faced miscarriages and are spending this holiday with babies in Heaven. I honestly cannot comprehend the emotions they must be feeling and the hurt that such a loss causes. The only inkling I have of it is just knowing how scared I was to lose this pregnancy and imagining how I'd feel if it did happen. And I know that's not even close to actually going through it. I had a thought, though, that I hope brings comfort to all of those who are going through this now:

I pictured each little baby being held in the arms of God. Even typing that out now brings tears to my eyes. I read something today that someone said about their lost child. They said something to the effect that it brought them comfort to know that the first face their baby ever saw was the face of God. What better place could they possibly spend Christmas?! Of course, our hearts yearn for them to be here on earth with us, but they are being held tightly by the One who knit them together in your womb. I don't understand why God would form that baby in your belly only to take it away, but I do feel certain that He knows the pain of experiencing the death of a child. Because 2000 years ago, He sent His only son as a baby in a manger. I think I've never thought of the conception of Jesus the same way I think of our own conceptions. I've thought of Mary as being pregnant and I've thought of Jesus as an infant in the manger, but what about what was actually going on inside Mary. I believe that God formed Jesus in her womb just as He forms each and every one of our babies (past, present, or future). I believe that He went through the stages of development as His arms and legs budded and His facial features developed and His heart began to beat. Can you imagine the God of the universe stepping down and assuming such a position? And while Jesus was born full-term and lived into His adult years, I can't help but think that God must've grieved a little bit knowing that He was turning His son over to be born all to lead up to His future death, just so that we could have a relationship with Him! I'm sure God feels the same grief when He places a child into your womb knowing that it won't stay there for long, but I'm sure that His purpose for that conception and death is no less amazing.

Here are a few pictures to end with. I hope this encourages someone who's going through a hard time. If you want to read more about some other stuff going on in my life, check out my other blog.